Day 3.5

Ok, technically it is day 4, but I was gone almost all of yesterday and didn't post. I got home around 9:30 and instead of posting on my own blog, I went to someone else's and commented. It really seems easier that way.

I used to be an OK writer--not bad even, but now that I'm trying to write several times a week I find it very difficult. I commented on another blog & after thought that instead of writing a novel on hers, I should write my own. While my comment started off apropos of the blog entry, I did kind of go off into my own little world & blah blah blahed. Now that I created my own little blah blah blah world, I'm having trouble spitting it all out.

Yesterday I went to baby sit for the children of a friend. It all started out swell, everyone was happy to see Kiki. They, in fact, named me Kiki. I was only watching for a few hours with The Mama poppin in & out. It should have been a nice little escape & chance to play. Only the baby (3 years old) needed help with something. First I didn't do it like The Mama, then when I tried to move on to the next step, she yanked her arm away from me & ended up with "Nursemaid's elbow" it is basically dislocating the elbow. Her arm hurt really bad & we couldn't look at it or figure out what was up with out her screaming. The sister (6) kept trying to help, but didn't really understand that hugs hurt and picking her up was a bad idea. That also was made worse by being said by me & not The Mama. (Mama lets me pick her up, Mama doesn't let her eat by that tv, Mama gives her a princess band-aid. )

I'm told that it is really quite common. The Mama has a good friend who's 4 year-old son had the same problem, but it happened on my watch & I still feel unbelievably bad. It could have happened when she was swinging on something or holding onto the Mama when jumping out of the van or if someone decided to play "airplane" with her, but it didn't. It happened when I was watching her.

So The Mama had to take off work for the afternoon (like any of us can afford that). She took the baby to the doctor (again, not a very affordable option) I took the sister to the pool so she could have her swimming lessons and not have to stay home. I was without a vehicle, so The Mama dropped us off and went to the doctor. When lessons were over the sister wanted me to go swimming with her. By that time I knew the baby was OK & her elbow was popped back into joint so I thought it might be fun. Just as I was about to change, The Mama called and said that she and the baby were done and almost there. We discussed it and realized it was probably better for the baby to stay in the van (instead of getting in & out of a car seat then not being allowed to swim) so I should bring the sister out. So I said that I was sorry and we couldn't swim. Tears ensued. It is always sad to see a little girl that unhappy, but I kept talking to her and we went in to change. She wanted to take a shower, but we didn't have soap or shampoo and that was when it started to unravel. I'm still not sure what caused her to snap, but she just stood in a shower stall bawling and pulling the curtain around her. I tried to talk to her, I apologized about 25 times. I left her alone for a little while. I tried most everything, but she just went off the deep end and was screaming and crying. So after breaking the baby and sending the other into emotional turmoil, I kind of lost it. This was supposed to be a day away from all my stress & troubles so I could play with the kids and everyone ends up in tears. Then The Mama calls, so I had to explain that her daughter was standing in a shower stall bawling, I was standing outside a shower stall, also in tears and she needed to come save the day.

So, as Sarah Louise says, sometimes we just need our Momma. I miss mine unbelievably, but since it has been about 11 hours since began recovering from the past few weeks, I'm not going to dwell on it. It makes me sad, but rarely causes a breakdown anymore.

As an escape from all things sad & stressful, I went to the ceramics studio this afternoon. I spent some time shaking glazes & refilling the the containers of the brush on glaze and other such necessary chores. A group of kids, mostly inner-city, (3rd or 4th grade I think) had a class today, so I helped with that. All the kids got to try their hand at the pottery wheel. It was fun to show them how to open up the ball of clay so they could see what it is like to make a pot. There wasn't enough time for any of them to really get close to a finished product, but at least they got play with the clay and feel how it is done. It was definitely hectic. I had two kids at a time, we staggered them a little so I had one centering and the other opening and then opening and pulling up. A few of them really seemed to have a good feel for it. One little boy could have created a small pot if we had the time. I hope that they got a feel for it and stick with it. It would be great to see the natural ability and excitement for it be nurtured!

As for my own work, I glazed 3 bowls and a vase. They will hopefully go in the kiln tomorrow and be out by Monday. I think they will use the big kiln so it takes about 3 days to go through all the cycles. I am currently using a low fire clay that will be fired at cone 04, which is roughly 1920 degrees Fahrenheit. Or about 1900 degrees warmer than it is right now. Hopefully they will turn out well & I can post pictures. I have previously used cone 6 glazes (fires around 2200 degrees Fahrenheit) and generally like some of those better. At Cone 6 I use some textured glazes and oxides that I think are really cool, but since I got the free clay (all reclaimed) and it is low fire, I am trying that. Let's all keep our fingers crossed.

Since I have now written my longest post ever, I think I made up for skipping yesterday. Since I wrote this at night and not early in the day, I'm not sure I'll have anything to say tomorrow. Of course, that hasn't stopped me before!